We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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