I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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