ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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