I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
