so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ugly people sure do ruin things
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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