its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires