mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up