Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch http://tfl.nu/faw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1294) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

  (239): View more from Florida

  He could rock you to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories (239): He could rock you to sleep http://tfl.nu/6xlx
  Replies (28) Good night (3971) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling http://tfl.nu/vkmi
  Replies (12) Good night (4226) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?! http://tfl.nu/ganv
  Replies (70) Good night (5147) Bad night (9641)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do http://tfl.nu/ke2v
  Replies (19) Good night (5009) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady." http://tfl.nu/ftym
  Replies (11) Good night (6280) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3468) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (6071) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex http://tfl.nu/n4wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1535) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming... http://tfl.nu/2o49
  Replies (21) Good night (1791) Bad night (2821)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn http://tfl.nu/hucd
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments.. http://tfl.nu/pw8d
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors". http://tfl.nu/n1au
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked. http://tfl.nu/thm4
  Replies (4) Good night (559) Bad night (163)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you? http://tfl.nu/752k
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (172)

Randomize