return my video game
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.