Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
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is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found puke in my bra..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.