dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.