Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.

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  (925): He's on drugs...like drugs for horses. http://tfl.nu/witw
  Replies (41) Good night (1231) Bad night (2977)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (783) Bad night (6798)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.

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  (205): Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault. http://tfl.nu/rtqq
  Replies (20) Good night (1762) Bad night (4630)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".

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  (802): My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary". http://tfl.nu/h26g
  Replies (5) Good night (3125) Bad night (1031)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

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  (281): Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap http://tfl.nu/xw89
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1276)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"

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  (701): Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..? (1-701): No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup" http://tfl.nu/9q23
  Replies (1) Good night (1800) Bad night (953)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Is that even possible?

  (509): View more from Washington

  I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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  (509): He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me. (425): Is that even possible? (509): I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/y48j
  Replies (17) Good night (1027) Bad night (2871)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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  (870): There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood http://tfl.nu/fo50
  Replies (17) Good night (584) Bad night (2809)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA

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  (413): They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA http://tfl.nu/xggi
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (589)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.

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  (941): do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party? (727): Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine. http://tfl.nu/yv6f
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (441)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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  (402): I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside http://tfl.nu/9ftj
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (283)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit

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  (610): Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit http://tfl.nu/pp9n
  Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (258)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.

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  (773): I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned. http://tfl.nu/s84t
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (346)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca

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  (301): i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca http://tfl.nu/knhd
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (146)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?

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  (+44): So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/2jti
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (150)

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