Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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Just invented taco cereal.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.