My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
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My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.