Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1099) Bad night (1395)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Me. At least after what I've been through.

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  (540) Me. At least after what I've been through. http://tfl.nu/4dym
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (758)
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  (650): View more from California

  barbara walters just said penis...

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  (650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz
  Replies (10) Good night (2819) Bad night (884)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life

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  (617): Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life http://tfl.nu/020c
  Replies (11) Good night (1165) Bad night (4359)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.

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  (972): Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone. http://tfl.nu/2947
  Replies (4) Good night (1281) Bad night (2985)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.

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  (678): I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks. http://tfl.nu/fb5x
  Replies (8) Good night (2767) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.

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  (563): last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers. http://tfl.nu/6ciq
  Replies (3) Good night (1413) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.

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  (207): I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg. http://tfl.nu/2hwi
  Replies (11) Good night (2540) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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  (513): Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small http://tfl.nu/dnf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1245) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

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  (806): Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap http://tfl.nu/wtva
  Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

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  (586): So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college? http://tfl.nu/tyby
  Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me

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  (516): I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me http://tfl.nu/lsz4
  Replies (16) Good night (2985) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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  (808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3
  Replies (8) Good night (1018) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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  (530): Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs. http://tfl.nu/m09k
  Replies (2) Good night (1572) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.

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  (978): I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk. http://tfl.nu/nl8z
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (650)

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