If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You smell like a Billy Joel song
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
