Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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