He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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