You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i've created a new STD.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize