haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
