you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
