I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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