I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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