now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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