My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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