The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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