id be glad to
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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