Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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