boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
