so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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