My first STD was from a foam party
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Found the puke drawer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
