they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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