I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
