i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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