i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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