I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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