My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
