You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
