Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dear god my vagina.
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