Got a toothbrush?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
