are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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