I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
