He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
