My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm at about main and main street
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize