watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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