This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize