My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dicks are not precious.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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