haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Couch. On fire.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize