If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
