Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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