you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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