clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
