the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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