If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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