why didn't you poke me back
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
