Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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