dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
