I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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