hotel room ftw
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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