at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
