Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
