I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
