i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
