i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
