i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
