I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
