Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
