i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
