She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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