I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize