about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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