Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
