When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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