would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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