I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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