you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
