yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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