dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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