i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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